INFIDELITY

Every couple, in the beginning of an intimate, committed relationship and hopefully before marriage, should have the infidelity discussion. And, out of this discussion should come a clear operationally defined understanding about what constitutes infidelity for the two of them.
It may be different for every couple.Just to give a few examples:
At one extreme is the couple who may agree that anything short of actual intercourse outside the relationship is fine with them or another couple who agrees that anything is fine including sex outside the relationship (e.g., swingers, swappers, open-marriages, etc).

At the other extreme is the couple where nothing even vaguely sexual about anyone outside the relationship is allowed (so there can be no open discussions of "attractions" or someone coming on to either other one, e.g., at work) This level of suppression, in my judgment, may also not be healthy. And then there is all the middle ground between these two extremes.

The most important thing is that both individuals' perspectives are fully taken into account in forming a firm definition of what infidelity means in their relationship. The n th most important thing next is to stick to them and not go against any of them in any sort of way. Otherwise you will face major problems!!!!!!

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